A Sad but Funny Memory from Law School

I had a funny recollection today of a conversation I had my third year of law school with one of my professors. We were discussing having children v. having a highly intense legal career. She said, in response to my question about whether you should put off having children, “Oh, that’s easy. One, you can only do for a little while; the other, you can do whenever.” 

I nodded slowly. Finally, I asked: “Just to be clear, which one is which?” 

“The kid is the one that you can only do for a while.” She didn’t even laugh at me. 

Now that I have two kids under three, I can see exactly what she meant. I’m not sure I would have the energy to do it at 40!

Defense Counsel Moves for Protective Order Based on Inability to Countenance “Poopyheads”



I mean, what is it with bodily fluids and pleadings? First the dog piss lady and now this:



My reaction:

photo (2)


Betcha can’t work an emoji and another reference to poop into that pleading!


photo (3)





Yes, this is public record. The case number is 60CR-09-2434 if you care to see who wrote this gem for yourself.


Friday Funbag: This One Goes Out to All the Newbs

Today’s friday fun bag is more of an announcement: I will now be hosting a free page for civil litigation templates. So far, there’s a grand total of one template available on that page, but it’s going to grow, and grow fast.

The page is available from the main menu.

Let’s crowd source this thing and help the new lawyers amongst us build their template libraries. Send in your submissions, links, PDFs, recipes for crock pot meals that require 5 ingredients I already have on hand, etc. to hawglawblawg at gmail dot com.

Now, here are some funny pictures I saw this week:





Have a good weekend!

Friday Funbag: Why Does This Attorney Think Humans Have Dog Piss in Them?


My friend, an attorney here in Little Rock, says he got this Request for Admission this week from an attorney, whose name he kindly redacted even though he didn’t have to. And we all wish that he didn’t, I’m sure.

If I got this from someone I knew, I would probably laugh pretty hard. But…he doesn’t know the person who sent this. I have been assured that this person did not attend law school in Arkansas. 


If you’re reading this and you wrote it, please email me and tell me your thought process behind that decision. I’m not sure if this is meant to be funny or posturing or what, but…I’d sure like to know.

Other readers: have you ever gotten a completely off the wall discovery request? Do tell. 



Friday Funbag: Best In Rem Case Names

Yes, these are real cases: 

  • U. S. v. 422 Casks of Wine
  • United States v. Approximately 64,695 Pounds of Shark Fins
  • R.M.S. Titanic, Inc. v. The Wrecked and Abandoned Vessel, R.M.S. Titanic
  • United States v. Article Consisting of 50,000 Cardboard Boxes More or Less, Each Containing One Pair of Clacker Balls
  • United States v. 11 1/4 Dozen Packages of Articles Labeled in Part Mrs. Moffat’s Shoo-Fly Powders for Drunkenness
  • A Book Named “John Cleland’s Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure”, et al. v. Attorney General of Massachusetts
  • U.S. v. 2,507 Live Canary Winged Parakeets
  • U.S. v. One Lucite Ball Containing Lunar Material (One Moon Rock) and One Ten Inch by Fourteen Inch Wooden Plaque
  • South Dakota v. Fifteen Impounded Cats