Uganda Says, “No, You Guyz!!! It’s All Just a Big Misunderstanding!” But It’s So Not a Misunderstanding

In honor of my readers in Uganda (and yes, I have at least one, my Aunt Cheryl, who almost always disagrees with me but reads my blog anyway because that’s what aunts are for), I’m writing about a little legislative whoopsy-daisy in that fair land.

Just to Be Clear: Anti-Homosexuality Bill Does Not Make Uganda Anti-Homosexual

Uganda recently passed the 2014 Anti-Homosexuality Bill in February, but after losing some of that sweet, sweet foreign aid, Ugandan leaders are prepared to clear up a little misunderstanding about the legislation. Which is definitely NOT about discriminating, where would you even get that idea?!

See, the bill applies equally to everyone voluntarily participating in homosexual behavior, not just homosexuals! Equal application, you knuckleheads!

Ugandan leaders said in a statement, “[The law’s] enactment has been misinterpreted as a piece of legislation intended to punish and discriminate against people of a ‘homosexual orientation’, especially by our development partners.”

Oh, crazy! I wonder where the “development partners” would have gotten that idea?

Maybe from the title?

Or, I dunno, maybe the fact that if someone is a “serial offender” of practicing homosexuality they get life in prison (which was already reduced from the death penalty, by the way!). [Ed. I have no idea what Ugandan prison systems are like, but my mind is saying “not good.”].

Or, if you don’t even actually have same sex relations, but you try to, YOU GET SEVEN YEARS IN PRISON.

Or, if you go somewhere that same-sex marriage is legal and get married, you face extradition for a life sentence.

Companies mixed up in these types of shenanigans even face losing their corporate charters.


Straight out of a Kevin Hill movie.

The law does address forcible rape and sex crimes against children, which is great. But, you know, you can still have those and not criminalize consenting behavior amongst adults.

“Uganda reaffirms that no activities of individuals, groups companies or organisations will be affected by the act,” the statement said. WHICH IS COMPLETELY 100% CONTRARY TO THE WORDS IN THE ACT but, still….just a misunderstanding.