Case of the Mondays: Law Student Embezzles $33k from Beer Fund.

Case of the Mondays is a new feature on hawglawblawg that discusses people who are having a worse day than you. 

Can you stay in law school if you confess to stealing $33,000 worth of SBA party funds? No.  That’s a deal breaker.

If your OkCupid says ‘bisexual’, That’s a dealbreaker ladiess!

This article posted on Above the Law provides Friday detailed the unfortunate story about a Student Bar Association Treasurer at the University of Baltimore School of Law who took ALL THE BEER MONEY!!!!! for her own alcohol problem. OK, there was a drug problem in there too. Obviously, addiction isn’t funny and the court ordered her to rehab as part of her probation. She received a five year suspended sentence and three years probation. She also borrowed money from her family to repay the SBA. 

So, law school parties are pretty well known for being quite the hoot-n-nannies. The alcohol budgets are pretty big because heavy drinking is a frequent resort of overly stressed student lawyers. (I think “student lawyers” sounds better than “law students” because it’s more lawyer, less student, and you need all the motivation you can get at that stage.)

Anyway, I digress. Forgive me. I spent all weekend dealing with my two-year-old’s birthday festivities. More digression. *Sigh*

Ok, let’s focus: this student stole $33,000 from October of 2010 through March of 2012! $33,000!!!! She claims it was spent on alcohol and painkillers.  Let’s see what 33k’s will get you these days:

Miller High Life (High life. Snort. OK, now I’m just being rude): $12.00 per 12-pack=

33,000 cheap beers

Barefoot Chardonney: $83.88 per case=

392 CASES of cheap wine

$20.0 worth of Oxycodone

40 mg Oxycodone x $20.00=

66,000 mg Oxycodone

That seems like a lot. Like, even for a terrible addiction. Maybe I’m wrong.

Anyway, best of luck to her on her recovery and remember: voluntary intoxication is not a defense.